Tom Lion



Tom Lion is the evasive and deadly ex-defenseman of the Flapjacks. He is also the father of all-star netminder Mike Lion.

Early Life
Tom Lion was born under the sign of the Gemini in the Pride Lands of Southern Congo to Nala and Simba Peterman. Although his actual birthdate is unknown, we can assume that he's middle-aged. Shortly after his birth, Tom's parents decided holding onto him was not a good career move and replaced their son with that little shit from the 2nd Lion King movie that I only saw once in 2nd grade. Tom, abandoned and heartbroken, ventured off into the burning Congo sunset in hopes of finding a new life. He learned how to hunt and survive on his own.

Life alone was difficult at first, but once he got the hang of his new life, it started to come easy to him. He spent years honing his craft and eventually started to gain regional attention throughout the lion community. Whispers would dance through African villages of a lion so fierce and so deadly that a reward (or hit) was put out for Tom's death. Poachers and hunters from all over the world came to the Congo in hopes of bagging the greatest of all game. No one, however, had ever seen or faced a creature with such a killer instinct. The real tragedy was that Tom was a gentle, peace-loving individual. He never wanted to cause pain. In fact, he became so good at his craft that he managed to kill his prey without actually hurting them and then made friends with their spirit afterwards explaining that he needed their body to keep himself alive. He would go on to tell them about how rough he has had it and they would empathize and go about their business in the spirit world.

Months passed without anybody coming in contact with the mythical beast. Some locals even began to question if he was even real. One day, however, Kalubu St'Plonke spotted the Lion telling jokes to an elephant. With his crossbow loaded, Kalubu snuck closer in to try and catch him off guard. Before he could get within firing range, Tom was already standing behind him with half of Kalubu's lower torso in his mouth. Within miliseconds, his entire body was engulfed and Tom went back to telling jokes.

Rumors started to circulate about Kalubu's disappearance and it wasn't long before it had made national news. During his .03 seconds of rest between nunchuck training and sparring sessions, Mike Pacolay was able to catch a glimpse of the TV and without the knowledge even registering in his brain, he had teleported himself to the Congo. He knew that he was the only one in the world who could confront a being such as this. Tom smelled Mike's fragrance of Tommy Hilfiger with a pinch of ADIDAS in the grass and before long, the two had appeared behind each other. Tom's mouth clenched over Pacolay's neck, severing his head from the rest of his body. Tom thought he had won, but before he had finished chewing, a freshly regenerated Pacman had broken his neck. Tom decided it wasn't time to die and popped his neck back into place. Stunned and impressed, Pacolay shook the Lion's hand and granted him a wish. Gleefully, Tom requested that Pacman turn him into a human. Pacman agreed and the deed was done. Tom was shocked by his new body. He was in human form, but he still had all the abilities, strength, and speed that he had in his lion form. Pacolay suggested Tom speak with founding Flapjackers Evan and Ryan Cvejkus. He believed that his abilities could help the worldwide juggernauts claim a title. Tom punched him in the face, did a backflip and flew off into the night. Pacolay let out a horrid shriek and returned to Pennsylvania.

Years later, Tom found himself with a young den of Lions that also shared his abilities. When the eldest Lion had reached the proper age, he started thinking about what the mythical genie had told him so many years ago. Unable to know if he could trust the man that turned him from lion to human, he sent his eldest son to play for the team and see how it was. Mike Lion was greeted by the Flapjacks with open arms and open nostrils. He loved the team so much that he sent a papyrus scroll back to his father with details. Tom eventually decided that it was in his best interest to give the team a tryout and ended up joining the squad in May of 2012.

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